Why Others' Opinions Don't Matter Much
Opinions matter to us.
All of us.
For some it matters less, for some, it matters a lot.
But why do we act like this?
It is something that happen to us humans recently?
No, my friend.
We, humans, are wired like this.
Since we have been acting like this for the last 100 years.
This is absolutely evolutionary.
Back in the days, when dangers we more than just getting roasted online. When dangers were real and we had to deal with all kinds of things that we can’t even fathom, we came up with some rules, to stay alive.
Humans realized that they need to stay in a team or in a group so as to stay alive.
Being in a group not one gave us a form of security, but also a form of family and community.
This is how we stayed alive.
Now, being part of a group comes with a lot of perks but at the same time, you need to have certain rules.
In those days, it was basically, that if you a liked by your group then you have the chance to be with that group, and if not, then you are left alone.
This became the norm.
And since nobody is up for the fact that they will be left alone because it simply means an increased risk to your life!
Thus we all gradually picked up the art of staying in a group.
At the same this, we became very much conscious of the fact that we need to be liked by all.
It was necessary in all sense.
But times have changed now.
Lives have changed.
We are really not threatened by massive animals, rather we are becoming a threat to them.
But due to our evolution.
The sense of becoming a part of a group and the sense of being liked by all is still intact with us.
We still feel the greatest urge to be liked by all.
Which is not only unnecessary in today’s world but also impossible.
No matter who you are, you can’t be liked by all.
So this is the whole reason behind why we feel that opinion matters.
Now coming to Why opinions Actually Don’t Matter Much.
Let me tell you. This way of thinking will not come in a month.
Maybe not even in a year.
Self-improving is a lifelong journey and this specially will take time.
Now, let me explain why is it important to ignore opinions the way your crush ignores your DM.
You can’t Control it
I have written about stoicism a few times now. And one of the main things that Stoics focus on is the fact that it is important for us to stop wasting even a second of our time on things that we can’t control.
Now, this will remain true in every moment of your life. You can’t just worry about things you can’t control.
That will be a complete waste of your energy and time.
So, worrying about what people say about you and how they perceive you is useless.
One it makes you stress out and secondly how the heck will know what exactly are they thinking about you?
Even if they say it out loud, it still will be only a part of what they think.
So, you are already fighting a losing war.
Thus no point in keeping fighting.
Ponder on this thought.
You are not that Important
This might actually sound rude.
I even felt the same.
We have a tendency of thinking that we are the main character, not only in our story but also in others’ stories.
I don’t know why we think like this but we do.
According to us, every people we know must be thinking about us or talking about us in every alternative minute of their life.
We feel as if the other person has no other job but to sit and think about us.
I know, you will not agree with me but this is the exact way how we think.
Once a legend says, (I am paraphrasing).
We will stop thinking about What people think about us when we get to know that fact that How seldom they do!
Absolute incredible insight.
People literally don’t have the time or energy to think about you.
They are already dealing with so much in life.
No one, except for a handful of your closed ones, has spare time in your thought!
This is true.
So, get out of the notion and realize NO ONE CARES.
I believe the last one is the best solution to the problem.
If possible go through the lines 2/3 times. It will help you accept the truth.
NOW
Ladies and Gentlemen, here we come to the end of this content piece. I hope I have helped at least 1 of my friend here.
Thanks a lot to all!